Looking backwards

Y’all, it’s never too far into the year to reflect and look back at where you’ve been… and more importantly, where you’re going.

This year, on January 1st, I sat down and did what I always do on the 1st of every year: I reflected on the previous year, and I looked forward- actively, not passively- towards the new year. I set goals, not based on regret of what I hadn’t done or failed at- or at least that’s where I tried to keep my constructive mindset from wandering off to- but more based on what I wanted to manifest and create in my life in the coming year.

Readers, I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to play Groundhog Day on my life- year after year looking the same, never really moving towards or away from anything. I want to be intentional with the time God has given me here on earth. I want to play all out, go big, and leave nothing on the playing field. As long as there is breath in my lungs, I’ve got purpose and I can make an impact in my life and in the lives of others. NO matter where you stand today, you can DECIDE that the rest of your life will be the best of your life! But you’ve GOT to take action and be intentional.

Because if you’re not careful… you’ll find that the rest of your life is just a repeat of today.  That’s called defaulting. And if you’re not intentional, you will default. I’m not trying to default here people! Where’s the fun in that??

But here’s a funny thing that God revealed to me just the other day…

I actually prioritized my goals this year- despite not wanting to do it- based on goals I didn’t hit last year. I tried to frame my intentionality around what I know I’m not good at. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing to do at all… I just failed to ask God what He had planned for me this year.

I chose the word ‘discipline’ as my word for 2019. This came as a huge surprise to my husband, who knows me best, because in his words I’m the most disciplined person he knows! I chose that word mainly because I wanted to be really disciplined with my health. This comes from being a little lazy in the healthy department last year. I wanted to grab ahold of my diet and really lean into what I know I need to do for my body… even though I’ve always struggled to man handle myself into doing the right things in the past. For some reason, I figured that the thing I needed most was to put MORE pressure on myself.

God told me the other day that for one, the thing I need to give myself most… is GRACE. He’s like, ‘follow my example, sister, and ease up on yourself. Celebrate the wins! Focus on what you ARE doing right. Progress not perfection!!’

Um… yea… well said God. So how funny that the thing I ACTUALLY need to focus on this year isn’t more pressure at all, it’s more grace. That’s pretty extraordinary to me!

And then, as if that wasn’t such a mind shift already, I was in the shower doing my praying like I like to do, asking God why on earth He had given me ‘discipline’ as my word for the year and I could almost feel this lightness and this laughter…

“I didn’t give you that word. You gave you that word.”

Have you ever made a commitment to someone without checking your calendar to see if you were free at that time you committed to? This was like that. It felt like this hilarious revelation as to why I feel like I’ve been struggling against myself the last month.

‘Okay, so what’s my word?’ I asked God- because I pray pretty conversationally, something that shocks my husband (“You said that to God?”). I am pretty confident He gets me, and He can handle it.

“Generous.”

That was my answer. And I have to tell you, in just two days of adapting this as my new lens for the year, I feel so much more at peace and so much more convicted about what this year will bring.

I don’t know if you guys do this- choose a word for the year- but it’s pretty profound and incredibly helpful. That is, when you’re checking your calendar before making the commitment. I’m a big proponent of prayer, but if that’s not your jam, you can find ways of being reflective and allowing your intuition to guide you into a word that will serve your movement. The goal here is movement… don’t stand still. Do. Go. Change. Be.

And you might just find, once you start to move, that the thing you thought you needed is actually just the thing that will reveal to you what you’re heart is actually searching for.

So as you step into this year- please know it’s never too late to start stepping- take control of your steps with intentionality, maybe even a little discipline, but with a massive heaping of grace. You’ll never know what is waiting for you on the other side of those steps until you make the decision to go.

 

I did a guest blog on stepping into intentionality on the Impact Women blog. Check it out here.

 

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