I woke up on our last day living in Nevada filled with peace. I can’t say that I haven’t been peaceful about this move, but the closer we got to it, the more anxious I was becoming.
Not because I think it’s the wrong thing. There hasn’t ever, at any point, been doubt. And not because of the obnoxious process of moving itself- I’ve determined that I’ve moved over 30 times in my 33 years! I’m used to it.
I’m anxious because it’s just so dang bitter sweet. I have spent 7 years in the Carson Valley. It was there that we bought our first home. And then renovated and sold our first home, but not before bringing home a baby or two. We had one, then two, then three children in the Carson Tahoe hospital. We found our home at LifePoint Church and we found our people there too. We built our business to the Regional Vice President level, on Kimmerling Rd. And we flew through National Vice President and beyond from my office on Marigold Ct. I must have flown in and out of the Reno airport more times than I could possible count, and I survived each and every take off and landing, despite the mountains and desert that make for a fun ride (SO okay not having that as my home airport anymore!). I helped my beautiful friend have a successful VBAC in Reno just a few short weeks ago.
We built a life in Nevada. And I was able to stay so connected to the life, that for 26 years before that, I had built in California. As I packed up the last of my things into the trailer to begin the journey of a lifetime, I couldn’t help but realize that nothing will ever be the same. For the 33 years that I’ve been on this planet, at any given time, I could jump in my car and within a short day’s drive, be standing in front of almost anyone who has ever mattered to me. Or I could visit any place that has held any real significance to me. And now, that won’t be true.
But I have peace. Even still.
Because I know that this is what we’re supposed to be doing. From the beginning until today, I have felt lead. I have felt called. I have trusted. I have stepped forward in faith and in obedience. And because of my journey in my business, I now know for sure that the BIGGEST blessings in my life- including my marriage, my children (Gage wouldn’t even exist), my homes, my travel, my walk with Christ- ALL OF IT has come because I’ve been willing to take the road less traveled. I’ve been willing- not unafraid- to step outside the norm. As Brene Brown says, I’ve been Daring Greatly.
I was told yesterday that I OWN the road less traveled. I have to say I laughed out loud and I felt so proud of that. I’m so glad to be the example for people to chase their dreams. Because you guys, this is not a dress rehearsal! This is it. This is the whole thing, and we don’t know when it’s our turn to get off this ride, so why waste a MINUTE of it?
And don’t misunderstand me, it’s freaking scary, all of it. None of this has been done without fear. Not one minute. But fear is just the enemy trying to keep us from our biggest God given potential. Isn’t that just such a gut punch? Fear is a LIAR! Don’t you forget it! It’s so important that you face that enemy square on and say, ‘You have no place here in my heart.’
In the McDonald’s play place yesterday, on our first day of travel (yes, we occasionally feed our kids McDonalds), Merit (who is 3) was afraid to go down the slide. Cadence, my 5 year old, was encouraging him to be brave.
“Be brave, Merit. I believe in you,” she said. “It will be so worth it. It’s so fun!”
“I’m scared. Is it really slippery?” He asked.
“You can do it. I know you can.”
I looked at Thomas and we both nearly had tears in our eyes. We couldn’t see them, but we could hear their little voices echoing down the slide. Such a precious moment. And such a vivid reminder that little eyes are ALWAYS watching. We have to DEMONSTRATE what it looks like to be brave and bold. We have to show them why it’s worth stepping out in faith, so that when the time comes, they can be the example for the even smaller eyes that are looking up to them.
Cay has been struggling with leaving the last few weeks. She’s told us that she wishes she never asked to live on a farm. She has teared up as she realizes that these hugs might be the last hugs for some of her ‘best friends’ (she has many best friends, that sweet girl). And man, do I get it. So I show her that I’m sad. That my heart breaks too. Have you ever met someone where you just instantly like them? You’re just instantly friends for life?
Me too. Many times. Here in Nevada. And so has my daughter…
But I know that because God is faithful, and He works ALL things for our good, there are more of these amazing friendships in our future. And I know that those true soul connections that I have made, they’re for life. They’re unshakable. And as I received a long, tight hug without a single word exchanged, and just a touch of a wet eye the morning I left Nevada, I smiled because EVERYTHING had been said in that moment. And that’s so cool. And that’s not going anywhere.
So anyway, I had peace yesterday morning when I woke up to leave my life- as I’ve known it. And as we blaze across the Nevada desert towards Utah, with my kids coloring and commenting from the back seat, I have peace. I’m sad for what’s in the rearview, but that is SO much smaller than what’s out the windshield.
God has blessed our family, blessed us with a sense of adventure. I pray we’re the example for someone else who is just afraid… not unable… to live their biggest life.
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown