I’m moving on…
At last I can see
Life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know, there’s no guarantee but I’m not alone.
There comes a time in everyone’s life
Where all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days
Rascal Flatts… you guys get it! I love that song and I love, even more, the sentiment behind that song. I love that although we can get stuck in the life of ‘someday I will,’ we also have the right, the privilege, and the ability to make any ol’ day ‘someday.’
And we must. Because someday isn’t a day of the week. It’s not going to show up until we decide that someday… is today.
We’re living our someday.
From the time Thomas and I were newly dating, we dreamed of our property where we would build a home and a life. Where our kids would play and discover and grow. How many of us do that and NEVER take a step towards making that someday a today?
We’re doing it. And I’m not saying this to brag or boast. I’m saying this because I get why people don’t. It’s hard. It’s scary. It’s different. It’s new. It’s unsure. It’s unclear. It’s all the feels. And trust me, I am elbows deep in all the feels right now.
But it’s good. It’s so good. I hear my husband’s voice on the other end of the phone as he watches fire flies swarm our property at sundown and I know that those are the moments where my kids will see real magic. I see, as we FaceTime, the hill that my kids will slip and slide down and the forrest that they’ll hide in, discover in, and likely hurt themselves in more than once. And it’s good. It’s so good.
As I sit here, in a camp chair, writing with a keyboard on my knees and the computer on a folding table, because Thomas has driven everything we own across the country, I realize the emptiness that is here. The hole that we will leave. I feel it.
This was our home.
And as our couch and our beds and our dressers were sold, and our chairs and our clothes and our pictures were packed, I realized that home really is where the heart is. This is just a place. Our things are just things.
But the memories…
Those stay locked in my heart. And that, I take with me. That stays in my home- wherever my home is.
I remember buying hundreds of dollars worth of Christmas decorations to decorate this way-to-large house on Black Friday, and decorating it beautifully all day until finally, my water broke. I remember my water breaking, and standing in the shower praising Jesus for the labor I felt he had promised me. I remember bringing my final baby home from the hospital to the purple room we weren’t sure would be a boys. I remember standing around my giant kitchen island, drinking wine and laughing COUNTLESS times with people, who although I won’t see regularly anymore, are still HOME to me, because they are now, and will always be, in my heart.
Home is where the heart is.
So yes, I’m excited. I know there is magic and memories ahead. But yes, I’m also so very heartbroken. I know there is magic and memories left behind.
So I get it. I get why for most ‘someday’ will always be a day in the future. But I encourage you to be bold, and make that someday your today. Do it. Chase that dream. You’ll grow, you’ll be stretched, you’ll be scared, you’ll be a little heartbroken if things go right, but you’ll be grateful.
For. All. Those. Things.
It’s so good. And the realization of one ‘someday’ makes room for an even bigger ‘someday.’ So I don’t know about you, but Rascal Flatts and I…
We’re moving on.